Dah seminggu hal tu jadi. Dua hari cuti last week,berkabung.

Last night, waktu masak, N cakap, 'esok kita pegi pasar malam nak?' dengan nada sedih.

And I said, 'kenapa sedih ajak pegi pasar malam?' pastu N senyum je..

And I said again, 'dah seminggu kan mende tu jadik' pastu N cakap..sbb tu lah..last week nak ajak gi pasar mlm sbenarnya, tapi tak jadi sbb mende tu..so bila this week teringat pasar mlm, teringat mende tu...

**Speechless

I'll be here again, Edinburgh, 2008

I have to prepare for Stirling. Ape pun tak ready lagi. N suggested this coming weekend we prepare for my stuff. **Sigh

Banyak sangat terbuku dalam dada.  N will start busy now. And I just waiting for the date.

Broadbeach, Gold Coast, Feb 2014

She cheated. She told me lies. She broke my heart. And here I am trying to figure out how to forgive and forget.

She said she’s sorry. She said she regretted it. She said I was not supposed to know. She said it was out of fun ONLY. She didn’t love her. She didn’t adore her.

How can I trust her again? How can I forget all those things?

Am I stupid to forgive her? I won’t forget. I will never forget.

She gave me time to heal. She gave me freedom to forgive. She gave me all I want just for her to be forgiven.

How could she do that to me? 5 years and all she can say she’s sorry.

I’m trying very hard. Don’t tell me I’m stupid. Don’t tell me I’m weak.

I’m just a poor girl.

She did it again. Worst. I am lost. I lost hope. I lost trust. I lost everything.
How could she do that to me? After all these years. She took me for granted.
For all the love I gave, for all the things we've been through.
I've been here for her. For as long as she needed me.
But this is overrated. How could she...
I don't know what to do.. I don't plan for this..I don't plan for Plan B..I don't plan to face this..
What I had with her, nothing can compare..
Her regret hurt me more..
Her regret do nothing good to me..
It already happened..
U can't turn it back to normal..
U can't change things as u wish..
U can't hurt me and heal it at the same time..
The damage is deep..it cut all through my heart..
How do we face this...